It happened so quickly. As I put my coat on, I looked over and saw her. I didn't even think about him. I turned around and there he was. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I quickly walked away, but I really wanted to run. Why after the trying day I had did I have to see them? As I walked away my student apologized. Why was he sorry? They destroyed my marriage.
As we stepped into the elevator, I resisted the urge to drop to the floor and sob. I didn't want my student to see me vulnerable or anything but strong and put together. I held my head high and listened to my student as he attempted to make me laugh and take my mind off of what just happened.
I got into my car and just sat there. Embarrassed. Angry. Hurt. I couldn't help it...tears streamed down my cheeks. I don't miss him. I am angry with him. I hate that I am continuously reminded of the lies that were told to me, the betrayal, and my dissolved marriage. I don't love him. I don't hate him. I thought I had forgiven him, but I can't. I'm working on it.
This is much harder than I thought. It has been nearly 1 year since the divorce was made final....just weeks away actually.
I am happier now...than I've ever been. So, why does this still hurt? When will this go away? I am ready to move on.
I pray that I find peace with all of this (soon).
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