It is the best feeling to receive kind words from a stranger or someone you barely know.
It's a great reminder of how lucky and truly blessed I am.
Today was hectic and extremely stressful.
When I heard those words of kindness and sincerity said about me and my life, it reminded me to thank God for all the good I have in my life.
Too often we get so wrapped up in the "bad" of our every day lives, that we forget to stop, remember what we have, appreciate it and be thankful for it.
A special thanks to A.F. today for saying such thoughtful and kind words.
Here are a few things her words have reminded me to be thankful for:
- my family
- my friends
- the man in my life
- my job
- my students
- a roof over my head
- food on the table
- my education
- life
What are you thankful for?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Going the distance
When meeting someone or in a relationship, you have to ask yourself...
"will this person go the distance for me?
will this person go the distance with me?"
Two tough questions.
Answer "no" to either question and all deals are off.
As we get older relationships become more meaningful...more serious.
If someone doesn't possess the ability to go the distance for you....then "see ya!"
That to me, is pretty obvious.
The other question whether that person will go the distance with you is a little more difficult for people to grasp.
To me, if the answer is "no", then why stay? Move on.
I want someone who will go both the distance for me and with me.
Simply "dating" is ok for awhile, but ultimately, most people want something with more substance.
"will this person go the distance for me?
will this person go the distance with me?"
Two tough questions.
Answer "no" to either question and all deals are off.
As we get older relationships become more meaningful...more serious.
If someone doesn't possess the ability to go the distance for you....then "see ya!"
That to me, is pretty obvious.
The other question whether that person will go the distance with you is a little more difficult for people to grasp.
To me, if the answer is "no", then why stay? Move on.
I want someone who will go both the distance for me and with me.
Simply "dating" is ok for awhile, but ultimately, most people want something with more substance.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
What is marriage?
Marriage today has several different meanings and purposes.
Views of marriage differ among cultures and society.
Marriage for some women (today) is about...
- a huge engagement ring
- the perfect proposal
- engagement pictures
- unique save-the-dates
- a big beautiful, extravagant wedding gown
- perfect flowers
- perfect hair
- a large wedding with several guests
- expensive limos
- 5 course dinners
- a towering wedding cake
- having children
Overall, it has become more about the wedding DAY, than the actual marriage.
This is so sad.
What does marriage mean to you?
To me, it means a lifetime of partnership, commitment, friendship, passion and love between two people.
A marriage takes dedication, effort, and communication.
Not like I'm an expert, but I do know what I want out of a marriage.
Many young couples get married right out of high school or college, not really knowing what marriage is about or what it means to each other.
Pre-marital counseling can help, but don't skimp on it. Do it for more than just a few sessions.
Couples don't take the time to really answer the tough questions they've avoided in the past or haven't really thought about.
I look at my grandparents with absolute admiration.
50 years of marriage....commitment, love and friendship.
Some couples in today's society can barely make it to 5 years.
Marriage is often a rush to the altar because of family and societal pressures.
I think we need to take a cue from our grandparents...marriage is about love and devotion, not about how much money the other person will bring to the relationship or because you simply want to have children or you want to have your dream wedding.
A marriage is so much more than the material things.
Marriage is about vows of commitment, love, faithfulness, commitment, and growing and changing together.
Views of marriage differ among cultures and society.
Marriage for some women (today) is about...
- a huge engagement ring
- the perfect proposal
- engagement pictures
- unique save-the-dates
- a big beautiful, extravagant wedding gown
- perfect flowers
- perfect hair
- a large wedding with several guests
- expensive limos
- 5 course dinners
- a towering wedding cake
- having children
Overall, it has become more about the wedding DAY, than the actual marriage.
This is so sad.
What does marriage mean to you?
To me, it means a lifetime of partnership, commitment, friendship, passion and love between two people.
A marriage takes dedication, effort, and communication.
Not like I'm an expert, but I do know what I want out of a marriage.
Many young couples get married right out of high school or college, not really knowing what marriage is about or what it means to each other.
Pre-marital counseling can help, but don't skimp on it. Do it for more than just a few sessions.
Couples don't take the time to really answer the tough questions they've avoided in the past or haven't really thought about.
I look at my grandparents with absolute admiration.
50 years of marriage....commitment, love and friendship.
Some couples in today's society can barely make it to 5 years.
Marriage is often a rush to the altar because of family and societal pressures.
I think we need to take a cue from our grandparents...marriage is about love and devotion, not about how much money the other person will bring to the relationship or because you simply want to have children or you want to have your dream wedding.
A marriage is so much more than the material things.
Marriage is about vows of commitment, love, faithfulness, commitment, and growing and changing together.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Marriage & Sexuality
Today was the first day of my Marriage & Sexuality graduate class.
I went in really nervous not knowing what to expect.
I'm a bit of a prude and the thought of discussing sex with strangers is nerve-racking.
With text books titled...
- Body, Sex and Pleasure
- Sexuality & the Sacred
- Families in Transition
- Good Sex
- Sex Goes to School
...one might be a little intimidated.
The scariest thing is the thought of talking about marriage and divorce.
Tonight my Professor asked for a show of hands of those....
- who are married
- who are engaged
- who are in relationships that they are pretty sure will result in marriage
I was praying, as my heart raced, for him to not ask for a show of hands of those who are divorced.
I'm sure I was making some nervous faces, because the Professor didn't ask.
Why wouldn't someone? It's no different really from asking if anyone's married.
It is tip-toed around because it can be a sensitive topic, I guess.
I mean, look at me, my heart was racing, palms sweating at the pure thought of him asking that dreaded question.
I did not want to share that information with my professor and classmates the first day of class.
Not a great first impression. Not the image I want people to remember me as...the divorced woman in class.
The course seems interesting, so I'm looking forward to it.
I went in really nervous not knowing what to expect.
I'm a bit of a prude and the thought of discussing sex with strangers is nerve-racking.
With text books titled...
- Body, Sex and Pleasure
- Sexuality & the Sacred
- Families in Transition
- Good Sex
- Sex Goes to School
...one might be a little intimidated.
The scariest thing is the thought of talking about marriage and divorce.
Tonight my Professor asked for a show of hands of those....
- who are married
- who are engaged
- who are in relationships that they are pretty sure will result in marriage
I was praying, as my heart raced, for him to not ask for a show of hands of those who are divorced.
I'm sure I was making some nervous faces, because the Professor didn't ask.
Why wouldn't someone? It's no different really from asking if anyone's married.
It is tip-toed around because it can be a sensitive topic, I guess.
I mean, look at me, my heart was racing, palms sweating at the pure thought of him asking that dreaded question.
I did not want to share that information with my professor and classmates the first day of class.
Not a great first impression. Not the image I want people to remember me as...the divorced woman in class.
The course seems interesting, so I'm looking forward to it.
ways to live your life...
live simply. love generously. care deeply. speak kindly. leave the rest to God.
Victory Over Divorce
Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce.
No woman ever dreams of becoming part of that statistic.
You buy the white dress.
You walk down the aisle.
You say the vows of commitment.
Sealed with a kiss, you believe you're going to live happily ever after.
It's sad that only 50% of those couples experience that happily every after.
I chose to write this entry not to be pessimistic or a "Debbie Downer" about marriage.
I think marriage is one of the most amazing experiences two people are blessed to share together.
I wrote this entry to help those who are divorced or going through a divorce heal and move forward.
Also to share more about this with those who are not to understand what it's like to experience this.
The reason I started this blog was to help mend my broken heart. I didn't know if it would work, but writing has always been very therapeutic for me.
As a result, my blog has helped me tremendously.
I don't have all the answers about divorce and life after it, but I can speak about my own experience and healing process.
With that, I hope my words will touch someone's life, if only one person.
I want to share this interview on Today about overcoming divorce.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/video/default.aspx?vid=34228841-2fc8-4a20-8aba-73192cd02b48
This is so true. Take time for yourself.
Do what you've always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't.
The second life is the best life.
The website: http://www.victoryoverdivorce.com/
No woman ever dreams of becoming part of that statistic.
You buy the white dress.
You walk down the aisle.
You say the vows of commitment.
Sealed with a kiss, you believe you're going to live happily ever after.
It's sad that only 50% of those couples experience that happily every after.
I chose to write this entry not to be pessimistic or a "Debbie Downer" about marriage.
I think marriage is one of the most amazing experiences two people are blessed to share together.
I wrote this entry to help those who are divorced or going through a divorce heal and move forward.
Also to share more about this with those who are not to understand what it's like to experience this.
The reason I started this blog was to help mend my broken heart. I didn't know if it would work, but writing has always been very therapeutic for me.
As a result, my blog has helped me tremendously.
I don't have all the answers about divorce and life after it, but I can speak about my own experience and healing process.
With that, I hope my words will touch someone's life, if only one person.
I want to share this interview on Today about overcoming divorce.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/video/default.aspx?vid=34228841-2fc8-4a20-8aba-73192cd02b48
This is so true. Take time for yourself.
Do what you've always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't.
The second life is the best life.
The website: http://www.victoryoverdivorce.com/
Monday, August 23, 2010
little messages...
It's amazing how just one, small message can make your day. It can set the tone. It can turn it all around.
Words of encouragement...love...praise...and thanks are so great to hear every now and then.
I received one of the sweetest messages this morning. It definitely made my very busy, hectic morning and I was in the best mood all day because of it.
I try to send friends I haven't talked to in awhile a message, letter, card, or text to let them know I'm thinking of them.
I think we often forget about those we care about so much...the people who've been great people in our lives.
Life gets busy with jobs, grad school, moves, family, weddings, and kids.
We have to remind ourselves to pause and take time to tell a friend we miss them...to tell a family member we love them...to make plans to visit friends...to call distant friends and family.
Words of encouragement...love...praise...and thanks are so great to hear every now and then.
I received one of the sweetest messages this morning. It definitely made my very busy, hectic morning and I was in the best mood all day because of it.
I try to send friends I haven't talked to in awhile a message, letter, card, or text to let them know I'm thinking of them.
I think we often forget about those we care about so much...the people who've been great people in our lives.
Life gets busy with jobs, grad school, moves, family, weddings, and kids.
We have to remind ourselves to pause and take time to tell a friend we miss them...to tell a family member we love them...to make plans to visit friends...to call distant friends and family.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Love...something you can't live without
"Love is passion, obsession, something you can't live without. Fall head over heels, find someone who you can love like crazy that will love you the same way back. How do you find them? Well, forget your head and listen to your heart...the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this." - Meet Joe Black
Thursday, August 19, 2010
It's not who...it's when...
But I don't think I will.
You see, I don't want a fling.
I want the real deal.
Forget about the real deal.
You don't find it, it finds you.
What does that mean?
I don't know what that means.
It means that you get to a certain age
and then you're ready.
You know, you're ready for kids
or a commitment or, you know...
You know what I mean?
And the person that you're with then,
they become the one.
So you're saying it's not who, but it's when.
- Definitely Maybe
I agree, it's all about timing in life.
A lot of people come in and go in our lives.
My grandma has always told me, "When you know, you'll know. You'll feel it. It just feels natural...feels right."
It's about when.
The problem many women have is that we're so focused on trying to make every who we meet equal the when.
I may be young, but I've realized in my experiences so far that it's best to just enjoy every moment.
If you get that feeling like my grandma refers to, then your when has found you and you've found your who...."the one."
You see, I don't want a fling.
I want the real deal.
Forget about the real deal.
You don't find it, it finds you.
What does that mean?
I don't know what that means.
It means that you get to a certain age
and then you're ready.
You know, you're ready for kids
or a commitment or, you know...
You know what I mean?
And the person that you're with then,
they become the one.
So you're saying it's not who, but it's when.
- Definitely Maybe
I agree, it's all about timing in life.
A lot of people come in and go in our lives.
My grandma has always told me, "When you know, you'll know. You'll feel it. It just feels natural...feels right."
It's about when.
The problem many women have is that we're so focused on trying to make every who we meet equal the when.
I may be young, but I've realized in my experiences so far that it's best to just enjoy every moment.
If you get that feeling like my grandma refers to, then your when has found you and you've found your who...."the one."
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
tying the knot...
...NOT ME!
A student, Rebecca, who worked for me a few years ago, got married last weekend.
Here's the short version of their fairytale romance...
American college girl travels to Germany to study abroad.
She meets a dashing young French man.
They fall in love.
Have a long-distance romance for 3 years.
He pops the big question.
She says yes.
They get married and live happily ever after.
Every woman's dream right there.
Wow. I am in complete awe of their relationship.
When I received the wedding invitation in the mail, there was no doubt about it...I was going.
I couldn't pass up seeing these two young people, head over heels in love with each other, exchange marriage vows.
The wedding was absolutely beautiful and completely Cyril and Rebecca.
I am happy beyond words for these two.
I believe you can just look at two people and instantly know if they belong together.
God made these two for each other. That is obvious.
I am envious of their young and adoring love for one another.
I wish them a lifetime of happiness, adventure and love.
Congratulations Cyril & Rebecca!
A student, Rebecca, who worked for me a few years ago, got married last weekend.
Here's the short version of their fairytale romance...
American college girl travels to Germany to study abroad.
She meets a dashing young French man.
They fall in love.
Have a long-distance romance for 3 years.
He pops the big question.
She says yes.
They get married and live happily ever after.
Every woman's dream right there.
Wow. I am in complete awe of their relationship.
When I received the wedding invitation in the mail, there was no doubt about it...I was going.
I couldn't pass up seeing these two young people, head over heels in love with each other, exchange marriage vows.
The wedding was absolutely beautiful and completely Cyril and Rebecca.
I am happy beyond words for these two.
I believe you can just look at two people and instantly know if they belong together.
God made these two for each other. That is obvious.
I am envious of their young and adoring love for one another.
I wish them a lifetime of happiness, adventure and love.
Congratulations Cyril & Rebecca!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sail away with me...
An fantastic day today in Chicago. Sailboat ride on Lake Michigan was absolutely perfect.
It was my first time sailing and it was wonderful.
I couldn't have asked for a better day.
Thank you for the invite and an amazing experience.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Everything and nothing...
Sometimes when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing. - Ally Mcbeal
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Just a ball game...
Life is pretty simple really. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball. half the time you win, half the time you lose, and sometimes it rains. (borrowed from an old friend)
Meet The Parents
Palms sweaty.
Knees shaking.
Heart racing.
Knots in stomach.
Will they like me?
What if they don't?
What if I totally embarrass myself?
The movie, Meet The Parents, runs through my head.
It can't be that bad. It won't.
For the first time in over 5 years, I met the parents (well, actually a lot of the family).
After changing my clothes 3 times, we made the drive out there.
It was silent in the car.
All I could hear was my heart beating and the wind blowing alongside the car.
We pulled into the driveway.
Good luck, here goes nothing.
As we got out of the car, I began to second-guess my outfit (again).
Just be yourself.
I made it through introductions.
Next up, family fun.
As I stepped up to hit my first golf ball in front of people I just met, my heart beat faster than on the way there.
Dear God, please let me hit this ball straight and not straight through the house window.
I get nervous just hitting in front of strangers at the driving range.
This...this was nerve racking.
Those golf lessons paid off though.
Full swing, hit and straight ahead.
Pfew! Thank you God.
The rest of the day was pretty smooth sailing after that.
Successful conversation with Mom. Check.
Homemade chocolate chip cookies were a hit. Check.
Hug & kiss from his adorable niece. Check.
It is amazing how one life event, such as meeting the parents, can have such a strong impact on you and your relationship.
Knees shaking.
Heart racing.
Knots in stomach.
Will they like me?
What if they don't?
What if I totally embarrass myself?
The movie, Meet The Parents, runs through my head.
It can't be that bad. It won't.
For the first time in over 5 years, I met the parents (well, actually a lot of the family).
After changing my clothes 3 times, we made the drive out there.
It was silent in the car.
All I could hear was my heart beating and the wind blowing alongside the car.
We pulled into the driveway.
Good luck, here goes nothing.
As we got out of the car, I began to second-guess my outfit (again).
Just be yourself.
I made it through introductions.
Next up, family fun.
As I stepped up to hit my first golf ball in front of people I just met, my heart beat faster than on the way there.
Dear God, please let me hit this ball straight and not straight through the house window.
I get nervous just hitting in front of strangers at the driving range.
This...this was nerve racking.
Those golf lessons paid off though.
Full swing, hit and straight ahead.
Pfew! Thank you God.
The rest of the day was pretty smooth sailing after that.
Successful conversation with Mom. Check.
Homemade chocolate chip cookies were a hit. Check.
Hug & kiss from his adorable niece. Check.
It is amazing how one life event, such as meeting the parents, can have such a strong impact on you and your relationship.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
You can tell a lot about someone....
You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
1. a rainy day
2. the elderly
3. lost luggage
4. tangled Christmas tree lights
1. a rainy day
2. the elderly
3. lost luggage
4. tangled Christmas tree lights
Satisfied...
If you love somebody
You better let it out
Don't hold it back
While you're trying to figure it out
Don't be timid
Don't be afraid to hurt
Run toward the flame
Run toward the fire
Hold on for all your worth
Cause the only real pain a heart can ever know
Is the sorrow of regret
When you don't let your feelings show
So did you say it
Did you mean it
Did you lay it on the line
Did you make it count
Did you look 'em in the eye
Did they feel it
Did you say it in time
Did you say it out loud
'cause if you did hun
Then you lived some
That feeling inside
That's called satisfied
Busy people walking by
Can't help but worry some
With so many things to do
So little love gets done
Empty hearts everywhere
Drowning but dying of thirst
If you want love
It's not that tough
Start by giving it first
It's so easy to give
Baby can't you see
Just close your eyes open your heart
And do what comes naturally
Well did you say it
Did you mean it
Did you lay it on the line
Did you make it count
Did you look 'em in the eye
Did they feel it
Did you say it in time
Did you say it out loud
'cause if you did hun
Then you lived some
That feeling inside
That's called satisfied
Horses are built to run
The sun is meant to shine above
Flowers are made to bloom
And then there's us
We were born to love
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The lies we tell ourselves...
The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy. - Bach
We are so focused on finding that "happily ever after," but does it really exist?
I hate to be a "Debbie downer," but I don't think it does.
Nothing in life is perfect. There are trials and tribulations along the way.
I feel strongly that God puts those bumps and forks in the road to make us stronger...to make us stop and think...make tough decisions...and learn from the mistakes we make.
I would love to experience a "happily ever after" ending, but for now, I am focusing my energy to enjoy the present and the "almost perfect" in my life.
If you find love, don't fear it, accept it, enjoy it and be open to it.
I've learned you can't run away from anything good that happens in your life simply because you've experienced a lot of bad in the past.
Not all things are connected.
Not everything will have the same result.
Be honest with yourself about what you want in your life.
Be open to love.
We are so focused on finding that "happily ever after," but does it really exist?
I hate to be a "Debbie downer," but I don't think it does.
Nothing in life is perfect. There are trials and tribulations along the way.
I feel strongly that God puts those bumps and forks in the road to make us stronger...to make us stop and think...make tough decisions...and learn from the mistakes we make.
I would love to experience a "happily ever after" ending, but for now, I am focusing my energy to enjoy the present and the "almost perfect" in my life.
If you find love, don't fear it, accept it, enjoy it and be open to it.
I've learned you can't run away from anything good that happens in your life simply because you've experienced a lot of bad in the past.
Not all things are connected.
Not everything will have the same result.
Be honest with yourself about what you want in your life.
Be open to love.
A little reminder from Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient and kind;...love is not jealous, or conceited, or proud; love is not ill-mannered, or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up: its faith, hope and patience never fail." -Corinthians 13:4-7
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Love and heart break...
"It's still two human beings trying to get along, so it's going to be complicated. And love is always complicated. But humans must try to love each other...We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." -Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Happiness...
"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, & sometimes travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. Once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever..." -Gilbert
Sunday, August 1, 2010
If you're going to be a bear...be a grizzly.
“You cannot learn from my mistakes, you’re going to have to go out there and make your own. You can get your heart broken, or you can have the greatest love affair the world has ever known. But you’re not going to know unless you try. Passion is in the risk. If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly.“ – When in Rome
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