margin

Sunday's church sermon included a lesson about margin.

We all need to create margin in our busy lives.

Filled calendars, Blackberries, IPhones, and planners often leave no time for margin.

Margin? Time for you to turn everything off. Relax. Enjoy life. Do something spontaneous.

When you say you're too busy for family, to get a cup of coffee with a friend, to walk your dog, to attend your son's soccer game, or to sleep, you're missing margin in your life.

I needed this lesson. Too often I can be seen running around the office, eating my lunch (a coffee and a banana) in between meetings, sitting behind piles of papers on my desk and on the phone until 7:30pm in my office. I am totally guilty of this. I need to make more time for spontaneous trips to visit family, phone calls to old friends, time with my dog, read the Bible...read anything non-work related, take more pictures, travel more and just learn to breathe life in every day.

a fairytale

Every girl deserves her fairytale.

A man to sweep her off her feet.

The beautiful wedding.

The white picket fence.

The little footsteps and laughter of children.

Unconditional and committed love.

And to never once feel guilty for wanting all of it.

new hair

It's amazing what a new hair cut can do for your self-esteem. I figured I am going to be 28 soon, so I needed a new do. While many people I know are excited about having a baby, I am excited for a new hair style. LOL. My time will come (I hope) for a baby. For now, I am content being excited about new hair styles, completing my masters degree (hopefully August 2012), and my dog, Ellie Mae.

horoscope

My horoscope for today...interesting.

Daily Horoscope Pisces Thursday January 27, 2011:

Your life will move, evolve, be transformed--suddenly, unexpectedly; be ready for the change. There'll be a question mark hanging over certain aspects of your work. You'll find a solution to some of your problems in a trip, a contact with foreigners. Acrimonious discussions with your children. Your heart will make a delicious leap today.

the past sneaks up on you

It happened so quickly. As I put my coat on, I looked over and saw her. I didn't even think about him. I turned around and there he was. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I quickly walked away, but I really wanted to run. Why after the trying day I had did I have to see them? As I walked away my student apologized. Why was he sorry? They destroyed my marriage.

As we stepped into the elevator, I resisted the urge to drop to the floor and sob. I didn't want my student to see me vulnerable or anything but strong and put together. I held my head high and listened to my student as he attempted to make me laugh and take my mind off of what just happened.

I got into my car and just sat there. Embarrassed. Angry. Hurt. I couldn't help it...tears streamed down my cheeks. I don't miss him. I am angry with him. I hate that I am continuously reminded of the lies that were told to me, the betrayal,  and my dissolved marriage. I don't love him. I don't hate him. I thought I had forgiven him, but I can't. I'm working on it.

This is much harder than I thought. It has been nearly 1 year since the divorce was made final....just weeks away actually.

I am happier now...than I've ever been. So, why does this still hurt? When will this go away? I am ready to move on.

I pray that I find peace with all of this (soon).

From the inside out

I needed to hear this song after the day I had today.

Marry You

I just love this song....

checklists

The other day I came across a small piece of paper in my office. It was a list of to do's...a checklist.

It was obviously one of my students' who must have left it in my office.

On it read....

1. reading for some class
2. pray
3. AIA reminder

and a few other things.

What caught my attention was #2: pray.

In today's society, we have become so busy in our everyday lives that we have succumb to a life full of checklists.

I know I personally live by checklists at work. I think I have at least two going right now. My head would spin without a checklist.

But when do you draw the line with checklists?

I try to live my weekends without a checklist...with no set agenda.

Life is too short to live by them always. Right?

"When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out." - Elizabeth Bowen

By Your Side

I first heard this song at Gracepoint, the church I attend. I know what many people think....

"I don't listen to Christian music"...or...

"Church music?...cool? No way."

Yes way.

You'd be surprised. Take a listen.

I promise, if you don't fall in love with it, you will at least be humming it the rest of today.

friendships + distance

It's so sad when friendships die out because of the miles between them. I love the friends I have, who I know no matter what, we are able to pick up right where we left off as if a day hasn't passed.

Living out of state, only a few hours from friends and family, has really tested the relationships with the people in my life. Those who wanted to remain in my life, have, and those who didn't care to, have slowly drifted away over the 4.5 years I have lived here.

I know I am guilty of letting some of my friendships fall by the wayside and one of my new year's resolutions is to strengthen my friendships. After a few failed attempts to contact my old "close" friends, I have started to feel a little discouraged.

My mama says as we get older....people change...interests change...priorities change...lives change...therefore friendships change. She always told me growing up that it is better to have a few close (true) friends than to have multiple friends with whom there really isn't true bond with.

That is so true. After my divorce, I definitely learned who my real friends were. That life-changing event really affected me and the relationships I had with the people in my life.

It is interesting that my long time friend, A.L., whom I haven't seen since high school and now lives in Australia, and I talk more often than I do with some of my childhood best friends.

I am saddened by this. I am not angry. Simply disappointed. But, that is life. People come and go, in and out of our lives for different reasons. I just pray that God has a plan for all those reasons.

Give Me Your Eyes

I love this song...

Serenity Prayer

I love this prayer. It really helps me get through challenging and sometimes hurtful times in life. I wanted to post this, because I know a few people in my life who are experiencing some tough situations.

God,

Grant me the serenity;

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage, to change the things I can;

And the wisdom, to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.

Amen

Every woman wants to be "the one"

"After he left, I cried for a week, and then I realized I do have faith....faith in myself...faith that I would one day meet someone who would be sure...that I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City.

‎"Pursue a righteous life -- a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy." 1 Timothy 6:11

daily reflection

I have been doing a lot of personal reflection lately. About love...life...my future...my career....my family...

My mind can't seem to stop.

During the day, my mind is racing from one project to another at work.

In the evening, while at home, I am contemplating moving...wondering...is motherhood in my future?...will I ever get married again?...when will I finish my Masters degree?....where will I go from here?

For the first time in years, my life is not "planned out." This has definitely been a learning experience for me. 

I tell myself every day to slow down, breathe and simply enjoy each day as it comes. Easier said than done though, right?

I think it's time to start yoga again. :)

Chances vs. Guarantees

Chances slip away while you're looking for guarantees.

 A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I thought I'd share it. 

 Too often we are in search of guarantees that we don't see the chances in front of us. 

 Sometimes you just have to bet on a chance, because nothing in life is guaranteed. 

So, take a chance on love...a new job...a big move...a house...

Put trust in a chance. If you fall, get up, dust yourself off, learn the lesson from that experience, and move forward.

Life is full of chances and opportunities...don't let them slip away, because you're blinded by the need for guarantees.

Inspiring words from Ben Lamb

This morning's church sermon was truly inspiring. A reading from Mark 5:1-20 taught us about change...the changes we can make for ourselves with the help of Jesus.

Every new year leads people to make resolutions...to lose weight, to be a better husband/wife/friend/child/sibling/Christian, to save more money, to drink less, to spend more time with family, to have more patience, etc.

Some of the most important changes are made through small steps for a better year...a better life.

As Pastor Ben Lamb shared this morning, there are a few small changes we can all start with....

1. put an end to something.
2. forgive someone.
3. forgive yourself.

I left church this morning feeling great and excited about 2011.

2011

Happy new year!!!

With every new year comes new year resolutions, so here are a few of mine....

1. start running again.
2. save money.
3. call friends & family more often.
4. declutter my life (again).
5. enjoy the little moments in life...every day.
6. read more.
7. write more blog posts.

Here's hoping 2011 will bring much love, happiness, luck and wellness.

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010 was spent with family. This year's Christmas was special.

My sister, Amanda, got married, December 30, 2010. Her husband just finished bootcamp with the Air Force. They will be moving to North Dakota in February.

Kurt & Amanda 12.30.10

Aunt Amanda, Ella, & Aunt Nikki 12.30.10

My baby brother, Jerry, surprised us all by coming home for my sister's wedding. He is stationed in CA with the Marines. Jerry and Kayla are expecting their first baby this February...a baby girl, Jade.

Jerry & Kayla.

I was also able to see my brother, Bill, who is in the Navy and stationed in CA. I hadn't seen him in almost a year.

Bill, me & Cody 12.31.10

I also got to spend a day shopping for bridesmaid dresses with my good friend/sorority sister, Amber. She is tying the knot in October this year. I am so honored to be in her wedding. I'm glad our parents only live 15 minutes from each other, so when we're both in from out of state, we can see each other. :)

Seeing my niece/God daughter, Ella, is always one of my favorite parts of my trips to Michigan (sorry everyone). Seeing her just makes me smile and it warms my heart to hear her laugh.

before Aunt Mandi's wedding. 12.30.10

kisses for Aunt Nikki. 12.30.10

It was a great trip to Michigan. I'm glad I was able to see my brothers who are stationed out of state with the military. This Christmas and NYE was wonderful. 

Kurt & Amanda's wedding. 12.30.10

NYE family dinner 12.31.10

Happy new year!