stage 4

Stage 4, they say. What does that even mean? I mean, yes, it has medical meaning, but to a family, what does that really mean? No hope? 6 months? A year?

This is the news the doctor gave my grandpa and our family earlier this week.

My grandpa is a quiet man, tall, thin, and dark complected. He mumbles when he talks. He likes to hunt. He's still madly in love with my grandma -- still pinching her rear in the kitchen. He's a family man and hard working. He loves reminiscing about the time I stayed with him and my grandma up north and helped him rake the leaves (their yard is HUGE). I was 6 years old, I think. He loves that story.

He is humble, kind, and a dedicated father, husband, grandpa, brother, son, cousin, and friend. He would help anyone in need. When I was in college, I probably called him at least half a dozen times with car troubles. He can fix anything. He always came to the rescue. I was a toddler, when he drove me to the hospital after a brick fell on my toe. In grade school, he picked me up and rushed me inside when I fell (going up the cement stairs on their front porch), wiped away my tears and made me laugh, as grandma bandaged me up . He has always had a way of calming me down. His love and compassion is quiet, like him.

He drove 45 minutes to an hour (one way) each day to work just to provide for his family. They live in Michigan. Through ice, snow and rain, he drove his little pick-up truck back and forth. He plowed gardens and shoveled horse manure as side jobs to earn extra money.

He told me that before he proposed to my grandma, he told her father "I will make sure she never has to work. I will take care of her and provide for her." My grandma used to pack his lunches and had dinner on the table for him when he got home every day. I have always admired them and aspired to find a man like my grandpa. He doesn't boast. His pride is silent. I've never heard him yell or seen him shed a tear. He is strong, confident, and good.

The doctor "gives" him a year. It isn't long, but I am going to make the most of the time God has given us with my grandpa. I am going to try my hardest to be strong for him. Chemo and radiation are his plans to fight. He's not one to simply throw in the towel when the going gets tough. He's my hero.

Fried chicken, homemade noodles, mashed potatoes and gravy. This is what my grandpa has requested for our family Christmas eve dinner this year. It was his family's tradition growing up.

It's the little things we are all learning to look forward to and enjoy, because of stage 4.

10 Health & Fitness New Year's Resolutions/Goals

My top 10 health & fitness new year's resolutions/goals:

1) stick with the booty call challenge
2) add to my at-home "gym" (equipment)
3) eat healthier & drink more water
4) try new recipes/foods
5) eat fewer sweets
6) don't eat past 8:00pm
7) get back to five small meals/day
8) create my health & fitness vision board
9) run on a regular basis again (3x/week)
10) run Chicago's Perfect 10K at Navy Pier this fall

What are YOUR health & fitness NY resolutions/goals?

Get it girl!

OH MY WORD! My body hurts. I have been working out for the last couple weeks and my body is certainly feeling it. I am still sticking with my booty call challenge. Are you? It's just waking up 30 minutes earlier each day to do some form of exercise -- walking your dog, yoga, an exercise video, a run, strength training, etc.

Here's a glimpse of my own little at-home gym/workout area................

I also have a balance disc and an ab ball (not pictured), which I LOVE.

I reserve Sunday as my rest day. With Christmas coming up, I don't plan to workout Christmas eve or Christmas day, so I am giving myself 2 rest days. :)

I tried to sleep in this morning, but I felt guilty (especially because I know my sis-in-law gets up at 4:30am for her booty call challenge every day). SO......I dragged my rear out of bed, got myself together and cranked up my "gym mix" music. It helps get me moving. Today's workout: Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred + an extra 15 minutes to do some concentrated strength training. My favorite areas to focus on are glutes, core, and legs. I get bored easily, so while I love Jillian, I add my own exercises in there too.

Here are a few of my favorite workout tunes......................


(I do a nice little ab routine with this one)




(I have an AWESOME glute workout for this song)


I LOVE Beyonce!



(LEGS! Ohhhh quads, inner thighs and rear!)


And for my warm-up to get me geared up for a good workout............


Hope y'all have a great day! Get on that booty call challenge! I promise you'll feel amazing each day (the longer you do it) with more energy and a better mood.

A birth story

Seriously, when I read Raven, from "A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers" story, I was falling off my chair at my desk. She is hilarious and always keeps it real. She's a great writer and blogger.

She wrote a guest post another blogger's blog about her first birth story. Reading Raven's story reminded me of Jenny McCarthy. She writes a lot like her. FUNNY lady.

Here's where you can find her story: living4london.blogspot.com

Here's Raven's personal blog. I encourage you to check her out, she will make you laugh out loud. 
a mommas desires and pacifiers

How bad do you want it?

My friend, Jake, shared this video on his Facebook. I watched it and fell in love. Such great motivation to succeed in life, to work hard and never give up. This is my new I-need-to-get-motivated video to watch on days when I don't want to get out of bed to do my a.m. workout, or when I don't feel like reading one more page for grad school or when I'm having an awful day at work. Hope y'all like it and find some inspiration from it.


How Bad Do You Want It from Greyskale Multimedia LLC on Vimeo.

3 weeks off!

I am so happy to have 3 glorious weeks off from grad classes. Woo hoo! Only 4 months left until graduation (May 20). Did I mention that I ended this fall semester with a 4.0 GPA.........while working full time? Yes. :)

I was never a "bragger" about my grades before grad school. I was always an average student growing up, even in college. I feel that since starting grad school and with my career in higher ed, I have a new found motivation to earn A's. I have never worked so hard in school before until now. I am very proud of my accomplishments and don't really care that I like to show off my 4.0. Let's be honest, before grad school, I had only earned a 4.0 in a semester twice in undergrad and it was during our spring terms = 1 credit, 4-week courses. Creative Writing one spring term and Economics another spring term.

Growing up, my mom didn't really push me to get a 4.0 GPA. She was a single mom working 2 jobs (at times) to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. She had her hands full. She was happy I wasn't getting into trouble or failing in school. I work hard now, to make my mom proud, to be a positive role model for my nieces and nephews, and lead by example for my students.

It's interesting how my life has changed over the years, especially working in higher education. I now help and encourage students to pursue a college education and teach them the advantages of why it's important. I also teach college freshmen how to be academically successful in college. Wow! I tell them the first day of class that my goal for them is to earn an A in my class. This helps to create an environment of success and achievement for my students and they know I've set the bar high for them. Failure is not an option.

I've learned that an average student can be successful in life and I am living proof of that.

My 4.0 has earned me a 3-week break. Woo hoo!

life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful

This is a good reminder to myself. I am constantly thinking about the future and the "what ifs" in life. I'm trying to be patient. I feel like I write that, oh um, about every other post on here. Y'all are probably tired of me saying that. 

It's hard when you work on a college campus and you watch your students graduate and go off to explore the world outside of this small town in Indiana. They are chasing their dreams, diving right in, totally jumping and growing their wings on their way down, having complete faith in God. 

I am constantly in awe of their passion for life and always think to myself, "gosh, I wish I was that brave to move across the world or experience another state."  

I don't want to look back on my life and have regrets.....wondering "what if?"

The one thing I have learned is that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. Life doesn't have to be planned out, day by day, week by week, month by month..........life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. My life has been "planned out" for the last year and a half with grad school. I am ready for the next adventure. I am ready to experience something new........to experience the world.

"Booty Call" Challenge

I knew the title would catch your attention! Read on to see what it really means........

OK ladies..........the new year is right around the corner. With the new year comes new year's resolutions and usually exercise/diets.

I found a great website (through Pinterest!) called Tone It Up. I LOVE IT and check it daily. It was created by two female personal trainers and it has everything from diet and exercise tips, recipes, workouts, and an online community.

They have this thing called the "Booty Call" challenge. Ha ha! This is NOT what you think. It's an online community where friends and other people can help each other stay motivated, meet for workouts, hold each other accountable (and ourselves) about our personal fitness. Are you up for the challenge?

I've joined the online community (totally free) and I have been able to keep a workout journal - logging my hours and exercises daily. There are also groups you can join within the community such as the career woman, music for workouts, moms, runners, etc.

Check out the website and see what you think. This is where you can sign up to join the online community: www.toneitup.com/community. Send me an email if you decide to join the community, so we can link up and help keep each other motivated. My email link is along the right side of my blog.

Exercising puts me in such a better mood - I'm a much happier person. I also eat better. I know I need all the motivation I can get, especially during the winter, and friends are great motivators.

55 ways to take care of yourself

We are all a little busy and stressed these days. Here's a great blogger's post about 55 gentle ways to take care of yourself when you're busy busy busy......

Source: thefreedomexperiment.com via Nikki on Pinterest

my plan after grad school.......

I have figured out what my plan is after I graduate from graduate school.......I am going to work on my bucket list. I have accomplished several things from my list over the last year, I want to keep going. I'm not sure what will be first. Anyone own a motorcycle and want to take me for a ride? Plans for NYE 2012 yet.....NYC anyone? Who wants to teach me how to speak Spanish? Move to the South? Those are just a few things on my list. I will continue to add things throughout the year to keep me on my toes. My bucket list is linked to the right side of my blog, so you can track my progress. This will be such a huge accomplishment to show my children some day and to encourage them to create their own bucket lists. Life is too short to just go through the motions of the everyday.

My Bucket List

All I Want For Christmas.....

I am so excited for brother's destination wedding in Jamaica. Matt and I agreed that this trip is our Christmas gift to each other this year. Even though we aren't going until March, it is certainly a fabulous Christmas gift worth waiting for. :)

Just see what happens.....

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens" - SATC

I love Sex & the City. I love the TV show and the movie (the first one - the second was blah). I love that watching just one episode or reading a quote from the show or movie, can brighten my mood.  The quote above certainly calmed the anxiety I've been feeling regarding grad school and work. With the stress of finals and unsure of what my plans are after graduation, my head has been spinning. 

So, I've decided to follow what the SATC quote states.....just see what happens.....simply take each day as it comes and enjoy it. 

Vision Boards

I've heard about vision boards before, but have never actually created one. My friend, Carrie, recently suggested that I create one for my life. Vision boards are said to help visually see your hopes, dreams, and goals as daily reminders to help make them happen. 

I think this is why Pinterest is such a big hit. People wonder why others love this site - it allows us to create online vision boards of our hopes and dreams. I love when people will say or re-pin something about how they hope their real wedding is as great as their "Pinterest wedding". It CAN be. There's nothing wrong with dreaming big. In my sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma, our motto is "Aim high" and that's what I try to do every day.

I discovered one of my new favorite websites: www.toneitup.com. These two female personal trainers are amazing. I love their emails and workout videos. Their blog is awesome too! If you're looking for workout tips, healthy lifestyle tips, diet tips, etc., you should check them out. Below is their post about vision boards geared toward fitness (see the link below the picture). 

Once I create my vision board, I will be sure to post it. Stay tuned.......

http://toneitup.com/blog.php?Your-Vision-Boards-5098

Good girl

Source: cmae-adayinthelife.blogspot.com via Jenni on Pinterest

“Girls, I know it’s cool to be bad, but it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you would hide your face. For all the girls out there, it’s possible to be a good girl. I’m going to try to make it cool.” —Reese Witherspoon

Hello organization!

 I saw this on Stephanie's blog: love life and babies. She shared her beauty organization secret of the train. I totally want this! Not that I wear a lot of make-up or have that much, I LOVE organization. I will add this to my wish list. :) She is also a fantastic blogger! Check her out.

faith found again

I found the cross pendant my mom gave me when I was 8 years old this morning. It has appeared and disappeared between moves throughout my life and every time I find it again, it's when I need it the most. 

My mom didn't know it, but she is the one who introduced me to Jesus. I didn't know who He was when I was 8 years old, but I knew that a cross necklace was important, so I cherished it like it was gold. My mom didn't raise me in the church or to say my prayers before bed, but she pointed me in the direction of God, indirectly (if that makes sense). When I was 9 years old, she gave me a wooden plaque to hang in my room (we hung it on the wall above my bed). It was the Lord's prayer. Again, I didn't know what it meant, but I said that prayer every night before I went to bed (like I had seen in the movies).

This cross (the blue one) means more than anything to me - it's my most valuable piece of jewelry (and probably the least expensive). She bought it a yard sale. I don't know why she chose to buy me cross, but she did and it has changed my life. It's over 20 years old. It's now cracked and faded, but I still love it. Parents, remember this...it's the little things your children will hold onto and cherish most. Thanks, mama.

 

family

An amazing young man reminds us all what family and marriage are really about.....

For a bad day....

I got this idea from my Pastor. He shared that he has an email folder titled "for a bad day" full of emails from friends, family and strangers. These are positive and kind messages he has received over the years that he saves for when he has a "bad day". I have done the same thing in both my work and personal emails. What a great idea! It's amazing how a few words of kindness can turn someone's day around and bring a smile to their face. I encourage everyone to do this.

Not all of your dreams come true at once.......

Be patient knowing that all of your dreams don't come true at once - celebrate each one as it does. (NMG)

This is what I woke up and told myself this morning. After feeling very down last night after another pregnancy announcement, I needed a new attitude today. 

Don't get me wrong, of course I am very happy for all my friends and family who are expecting a baby or recently delivered a baby. I feel extremely selfish for being sad about not being at that place in my life yet. I know that God has a plan for me and I need to be patient.

I think the whole baby thing is harder for women than it is men. We feel so much more pressure to have children (for me, mostly from family). I know today, I am not alone (even though I feel like it), but a lot of women are having children later in their lives, because they have put some of their other dreams first. Education and careers have taken priority for several women these days, and that's true in my case. Not that I don't want to have children, because I do. The timing just hasn't been right in my life. 

I used to feel that my divorce put a kink in my plans to start a family, but now I see it as, it provided an opportunity for me to chase another dream of mine first: a Master's degree. I try to see the positive every day for the way my life has turned around the last two years, and I am so thankful for the kind words, love, support and encouragement from my friends and family. 

So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have come to realize that not all dreams come true at once, so celebrate each one as it does and be grateful.

baby boomers part II?

Wow. I can't believe how many people I know who are pregnant or just had a baby.

I just went to my friend, Gretchen's baby shower. She's due in February. Her and her hubby haven't decided on a name yet for him.

My friend, Amanda, had her baby shower earlier this month and is due the end of December with baby Bennett.

My Jazzercise instructor friend, Stephanie, is due in January with Landon. She is still teaching and working out. Love her!

My friend, Becca, just gave birth to her second child, Rachel, before Thanksgiving.

My dear friend, Jamie, went into labor last night and called me at 3:45am to see if I could watch their daughter, Nora. I was still out of town, so I wasn't able to help out. :(  She is scheduled to deliver baby Connor today.

Baby Nash was born just a couple months ago, along with baby Hadynn, a month earlier.Koye was born just before the school year.

I do have to say I am very impressed with the baby names these days. I am in awe of all my family and friends and how they are able to juggle everything. I hope I will be able to do the same when I have children. I am thankful to have so many friends to call on if I have questions. :)

Where have I been?!

OK, I know it has been awhile since I posted anything. Wow. Life has simply been busy. The semester is nearing the end (woo hoo!), so that means grading, writing final papers, finishing up projects and studying for my cumulative school counseling final exam (yuck!). I will be done with this semester Dec 12 after 6:00pm. I'm not counting down or anything. :) I have also been finishing up my practicum observation hours for my school counseling class. Boy, 50 hours is a lot! I finished that just in time for Thanksgiving. Yay!

I am really looking forward to Christmas. I get to see my youngest brother, home from the Marines, and my niece, Jade, both in from out of state. Of course, I can't wait to see all of my family. I love Christmas. I love the smells, the foods, the music, the movies and the time I get with my family.

Thanksgiving was good. Exhausting, but good. It was a small family gathering - my grandparents, brother, parents and aunt. We drove up to Michigan just for the day. It was a lot of driving (I fell asleep on the way home.......oops!).

We got home around 11pm. I went to sleep and got up at 4:00am to meet two of my friends for some Black Friday shopping. We were "late" shoppers. It wasn't too crazy, because we didn't do the midnight shopping like a lot of people did. We had a great time though. I had most of my shopping done already (I know, crazy!). We are excited for next year. Let's just say it will be at midnight with tutu's and sweatbands. :) I love my friends - they're so fun.

I hope to get back to my regular blogging schedule now. Hope you keep reading.

I wanna fall in love

Check this song out.

I discovered it on another blog and just really like it. (http://www.thewiegands.com/)

Playing "house"

As a little girl, I loved playing "house." What little girl doesn't? You pretend to be married, have a big house, babies, and pets. You make-believe everyday life situations - cooking dinner, shopping, birthday parties, celebrating holidays, playing with your children. This simple imaginary game of life can entertain little girls for hours. Even playing Barbies mimics this game of playing "house" but with smaller dolls as ourselves. When do these games end though?

I think of myself and my friends who have continued playing "house" into our adult years. We move in with boyfriends/girlfriends and our childhood imagination gets the best of us. I think too often women want that game to become a reality and when it doesn't result in marriage, they are heartbroken. I lived with someone before marriage and I swore I never would, but financial circumstances brought us together under one roof - it just made sense. I hear that all the time - "we moved in together, to save money." I agree, during these economic times it is smart to save money wherever you can.

After my experience failed, I am living on my own again, and you  know, I am loving it. Matt and I have our own houses and we are happy where we're at and our relationship. I am in no hurry to play "house" again until there is a ring on my finger and we've exchanged vows of a forever life promise of commitment. This is just my personal preference. It's not a religious thing. I know a lot of people who live together and aren't married. I cast no judgment upon them - it's simply a matter of choice. I've witnessed several friends' relationships result in heart ache and disappointment, including my own, that I just don't want to continue playing "house" - I want the real thing. This is all my own perspective of course. Everyone is entitled to their own and what's best for them individually.

the dress has arrived!

My bridesmaid dress for my brother's destination wedding was delivered to my office yesterday. I am so excited. It needs to be taken in a little bit and hemmed. I can't wait to wear it.

My brother is getting married this March 2012 in Jamaica to one of my (now) best friends. I am incredibly happy for the two of them. Matt will be standing up for my brother too, so it's even more special.

you never really know

I love chatting and getting to know my students outside of the everyday hustle and bustle of work and school. I occasionally will stop and ask them how they are doing and what's new. I try to be the boss I would like to have. All business and super formal is not my style. Of course, I feel my students know when to work and be professional and when they can have fun. I think I have created an environment for my students to work in that is comfortable, creative and professional. Our office is like a "real world preparation classroom."

Today, I realized you never really know someone, their family life or their situation until you take the time to get to know them. I learned some very valuable and personal information about one of my students. It's amazing how much they open to me about their lives and their families. In this instance, it was about her family. This helps me understand her even more.

When we really know the people in our lives, we tend to "get" them more......where they came from and how they became the person they are today. As someone in their life now, I see my position as an opportunity to help shape their lives and their futures. I try to teach my students valuable life and professional lessons, not just how to make copies, do data entry or how to give campus tours.

I cherish each moment when I get to learn more about my students and how I can help them grow to become better future leaders.

Elevation

Earlier this week I attended our volunteer leaders' meeting for my church. I love this group especially, because I grow more each day in my faith because of their love and support. Our pastors had us watch a documentary video about a church in Charlotte, NC...........Elevation Church.

Gracepoint and Elevation share very similar stories. Watching that video and hearing each chapter of their story about 8 couples passionate about starting their own church, made me want to do even more for GP. Their passion was not only in this idea of creating their own church in a big city, but their faith is what really touched my heart. They never gave up on their dream or God.

After watching this video, I immediately added it to my bucket list - to visit Elevation Church at some point in my life....to meet these people, to experience their worship service and hear a sermon by Pastor Steve Furtick would be absolutely amazing. I added his wife, Holly's blog button on my side bar (The Preacher's Wife). Check it out! I love her and her personality. She is just an all-around awesome wife, mother and Christian - I admire her.

You can check out Elevation Church HERE.

everyone has a fire

As of late, I have encountered more and more stories about infidelity and heart wrenching break-ups. I have done my best to offer advice, guidance, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I am not by any means an expert, but I have experienced both situations though and it's tough. Many people have. I feel honored that others trust me and lean on me as a confidant and friend.

It's important for those going through it, to not feel as if they are alone, even though it seems that way. My heart aches for these individuals. My prayers have been filled with the many names of others.....friends, family and even strangers. 

My Pastor's sermon yesterday was about the story in the Bible about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. the story. In the story, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are walking through a fire with a fourth individual - the son of the Gods. It is a good reminder that we are not alone. God is always with us and will help guide us through any fire we encounter.

"Everyone has a fire....or is in a fire at some point in their lives" - he said. It made me think of all of those going through trying times right now.....job loss, death, break-ups, divorce, infidelity, and more. This quote helps me through each day. My faith in God has really helped me through my "fires". I hope others find love, comfort and support in their faith too. 

The Big House

Matt had never been to the "big house" aka U of Michigan's football stadium, so we bought tickets for the Michigan/Purdue game (since Matt is a Purdue alum and I love Michigan). Our seats were with my favorite married couple, Carrie & Ahdi. Carrie and I go way back to middle school. We have remained good friends over the years and the miles between us.

Matt first met Carrie in the spring, but hadn't met her husband, Ahdi, yet. Carrie and I knew the two of them would hit off.....and they did! They hadn't known each other for less than 24 hours yet and they were already buddy-buddy, laughing and joking. This made me extremely happy to see two of my favorite friends getting along with and loving Matt. We also were able to spend time playing with their daughter, Tatum (9 months old). She was a blast and kept us all laughing and entertained all weekend.

Carrie always has a way of saying all the things I need to hear. She has been like an older sister to me and I truly value her opinion and advice. I admire her.

Before heading back to Indiana on Sunday, we met a few of my girl friends from high school for lunch. My friend, Amanda, is expecting her first baby and is due late December. I am missing her baby shower in a couple weeks, so I brought her shower gift Sunday. It was so good to catch up and reminisce about old times. I am truly blessed to have held onto those friendships over the years.

Donna's Warriors

My future sis-in-law and a few friends have coordinated a walk for St. Jude's. With every walk, there is a story. Here's the link to her blog to read that story and why she created this team to do this walk. (Get out your kleenex! It's a tear-jerker!)  diamonds dresses and i dos

Here's the link to their team's donation page if you're interested in either joining their team and/or donating to the cause.  ways to help

The favor I ask of y'all is simple: please re-post this on your blog to spread the word and the message. Thank you!

Friday Favorites

Today, I am listing all of my favorite things as of lately. :) A great way to kick off the weekend.

1. phone dates with two of my favorite people this week - my brother, Bill, in the Navy and in CA & my future sis-in-law, Amanda. Great chats! They are two people I could chat with for hours.

2. This week has been full of everything baby it seems. 2 baby shower invites, Target email about baby stuff on sale, and dinner with two of my great friends, who are preggers (two weeks apart!).

3. The fall colors. My cottage is surrounded by trees, so I love opening my door each morning to step outside. My view is pretty amazing.

 

[My view this summer. Need to take a pic for the fall. Gorgeous, isn't it? It's a great way to start my day.]

4. Pumpkin Spice lattes from Starbucks. Yum!

5. Two of the ladies I work with (I am their supervisor) are just the sweetest! I couldn't do my job without them. Here are the cards they got me for boss' day........

 

5. Uptown Cafe - is my all time favorite coffee shop. I go there once a week to do homework and get one of their delicious drinks. I love their coffees, teas, smoothies and hot chocolate. Their food is amazing too. 

Words on life [and style]

I read this post this morning and just really like the idea, so I have borrowed it. :) The link to Katie's blog is below.

Style does not equal an expensive price tag.

Nor does an expensive price tag equal style.

Confidence is sexy.

...so is a little black dress.

High heels are your leg's best friend, and your feet's worst enemy.

Always wear mascara.  If anything, it will look dramatic when you cry.

Beauty is evident in your soul; not just your skin.

The best sense of humor is the one that can laugh at itself.

Set your own trends.
Don't be afraid to be you; live loud.

If you worry about what other people think of you, you'll never know what you think of yourself.

Besides, worrying only gives you wrinkles.

If it doesn't make you proud, don't do it.
Live in the moment.  The past is gone; the future undetermined.

When you are having a bad day, turn it around.
Ice cream makes everything better.
Sing loud.  Dance often.  Rock out with a serious air guitar.

And when all else fails, don't forget to smile.

 

running on happiness

What are your plans?

"What do you plan to do next?" 

This is a question one of my college seniors asked me today at our student leadership team meeting. I answered by asking what he meant. Did he mean after our meeting? No. After graduate school? Yes, and my career in admission. 

Hmmmm.........

I answered by sharing I wasn't sure exactly. 

Gosh, I felt silly. Here a college senior, already has a job lined up after college, and asking me what my plans are after graduate school. Ha!

I couldn't help but feel a little lost after that moment. What are my plans? 

I don't know, but part of me wants to have some idea.........at least by spring semester. That is my goal. 

Long term: I'd like to be the Dean of Students at a College/University. Not just any Dean, but one who has open office hours and has lunch meetings with students. Helping students achieve their hopes and dreams is what I want to do when I grow up. 

What do you want to go when you grow up? 

my trip home

I went to my alma mater's homecoming last weekend and visited with family. It was good to be home, yet so strange to see all the changes.

My sorority house was packed with friends, family, sisters, and alumni. Because the weather was super windy, everyone was trying to cram into the house. Unfortunately, I didn't stay long. I saw a few familiar faces, but wish the weather had been better and it wasn't the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game.  I think there would have been a better turnout.

A silver-LEED certified building on campus...........young faces.........Professors who haven't changed a bit & still remember my name..........a sweet coffeehouse in Alma (finally!)..........sorority chants & songs........the Kiltie marching band............bagpipes.......maroon and cream..........my first AC alumni sweatshirt (6 years after graduation)............Pizza Sam's.........the spirit rock........spray painted sheets blowing in the wind advertising campus events...........the alumni house...........the library (yes, the library!).........the Chapel............the Scots.

Those are just some of my favorite moments and memories of Alma's campus. That place is magical. It makes me incredibly happy to be there. I wonder if people feel that way about their own alma mater. It will always be my home. I had 4 amazing years there, met some fabulous friends, joined an amazing sisterhood, and made some wonderful memories.

I spent some quality time with my mom - just the 2 of us. I also hung out with my brother, Cody, and had my traditional brunch with my dad, step-mom, sis-in-law, Lyndsay, and my adorable niece, Ella, on Sunday before heading back to Indiana. It was a great weekend.

 proud alumna

Kiltie marching band

 Phi Sigma Sigma - my sorority

Highland dancers

coloring with Papa at brunch

Edge of Desire

LOVE this song.......
 
Young and full of running
tell me where is that taking me
just a great figure eight
or a tiny infinite

love is really nothing
but a dream that keeps waking me
for all of my trying
we still end up dying
how can it be?

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

so young and full of running
all the way to the edge of desire
steady my breathing
silently screaming
I have to have you now

wired and I'm tired
think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
baby this mattress will spin on its axis
and find me on yours

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

"Edge of Desire" - John Mayer

Amen

[via]

Day 29: Change in myself

Day 29: Something I hope to change about myself


Something I hope to change about myself is my attitude. I sometimes let the negativity around me bring me down. I want to be happy. I want to not take life so seriously. I want to roll with the punches and enjoy each and every moment in my life more. I want to be more adventurous and be more open for change. I want to live life for me and not make decisions because of someone else.

Day 28: Preggers?

Day 28: What if you were pregnant.........what would you do?

If I were pregnant right now, it would certainly be a surprise. I would be happy nonetheless, as I know many women have complications or cannot have children of their own. I have dreamt of children my whole life. I know when the timing is right, I will have children. If it were right now though, I'd have to start planning (it's the super planner freak in me) financially, birth plan, nursery, etc. My mom would be ecstatic - too bad it's not in the plans any time soon. I've learned that some things in life just aren't planned and if I were to get pregnant, I would certainly embrace the gift of having a child. I am an educated woman with a good job - it would be challenging, but I could handle it. To have even one healthy child, would make me happy.

Good energy

“I believe in energies. Good energy has served me well. Being fair with others, compassionate, remaining humble, and making a difference are just a few of the things that I have seen create good energy. Beautiful things. Human things. I do my best to surround myself with these types of things, to generate an atmosphere thick with such energy. It has kept me safe in many situations. I have taken ri...sks in the past, and managed to avoid harm by the protection of the good energy I have created around me. I believe that ugliness creates more ugliness. And no matter how touched by ugliness you are, you do not have to give in to it and start spreading it beyond yourself. I have seen this sickness and what it does to a person, and those around them.” -Ashly Lorenzana

What a great quote to remind us to surround ourselves with good energy and positive people. Too often I have allowed negative, hurtful people to control me and my life. I don't like it when people are mad at me or don't like me. I need to remind myself that not everyone in life is going to love me. All I can do is be true to myself, my values and my goals for my life. I cannot allow others to determine my future or who I am.

Hold On

One of my absolute favorite songs. So romantic. 

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones?
I guess that we were once
Babe, we were once

But luck will leave you cause
It is a faithless friend
And in the end when life has got you down
You've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around

So hold on to me tight
Hold on to me tonight
We are stronger here together
Than we could ever be alone
So hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart
But it's no one's fault
No it's not my fault

Maybe all the plans we made would not work out
But I have no doubt even though it's hard to see

I've got faith in us and I believe in you and me

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause it's you and me together
And baby all we've got is time
So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight

There's so many dreams that we have given up
Take a look at all we've got
And with this kind of love
What we've got here is enough

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Then we could ever be alone
Just hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright
Hold on to me tonight
They always say we were the lucky ones

Day 27: Best thing going for me

I feel the best going for me now is more than one particular thing. I am happy and appreciative of the following good things in my life:

1. my health
2. my cute little cottage to provide a roof over my head
3. my job - to help me pay bills, loans and assist me with the cost of my masters program.
4. my family - for all their love and support.
5. Matthew - for being my rock.
6. my car - to get me everywhere I need to go. Many people don't have their own transportation - I am thankful I can afford my own car.
7. my amazing students - I love catching up with the students I helped call VU home. I am so proud of each every one of them.
8. last, but not least, my faith - I am so thankful to have found Gracepoint and to have God in my life.

Day 26: Giving up?

Day 26: Have you ever thought of giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Unfortunately, yes, I have had this negative thought. Not many people know the personal and very private battles I have faced in my life. I choose not to share with many people as they are very sensitive for me, and frankly, I don't want anyone's pity or for anyone to look at me differently. I want people to know me as the person I am today.

Everyone goes through challenges and struggles - I am no different.

The times I struggled most were in high school and when my marriage fell apart. I know I am not the only person to experience a tough social life growing up nor am I the only person to go through a divorce. Those were just two periods in my life that were particularly hard for me.

I am glad I persevered though, as I feel I have so much to live for and look forward to. Life is good and I appreciate every moment God allows me on this earth.

A visit to the apple orchard

I had the best weekend last weekend. I was able to sleep in for the first time in........I have no idea how long. Saturday we visited the County Line Orchard and took Matt's niece, Haley, with us. It was my first time there and I have lived here for over 5 years! We had so much fun.

We are so excited!

Having fun.

We went through the kiddie hay maze. This reminds me of a paparazzi shot you might see in a magazine. 

Feeding the farm animals.

Being goofy.

We did some apple picking. 

She LOVED the apples!

My favorite picture. 

New Sisters!

It's that time of year again......sorority recruitment!

My sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma, at Alma College, has 10 new sisters! YAYE!

I am SO excited to meet them all next weekend and see my sisters again.

I miss that big red house, AC, and my sisters.

Here's a few of the new girls.....

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my sorority! I hold Phi Sigma Sigma very close to my heart and I am a very proud alumna.

Free Fallin'

Just that kind of day.......

John Mayer - Free Fallin' (Official Music Video)John Mayer

4 things you can't recover.........

 

Too often we say and do things that hurt the people we care most about. 

Cherish those you love - don't say or do anything you'll regret later. 

A good reminder not only to hear or read, but to live by.

Dancing Queen!

I had so much fun learning to ballroom dance over the last few weeks. Yesterday was the competition. We had to learn 5 different dances in 3 weeks: waltz, swing, rumba, fox trot, and tango. Late night rehearsals have been kicking my rear!

It was a charity event, so each faculty member chose a charity they would be dancing for. I chose Hannah's Hope. It's the charity created by Mike and Mary Martinez on behalf of their 2 year old daughter, Hannah. Read her story here: hannahshope.org

The Martinez family even came out to cheer me on. It was the sweetest thing to see their smiling faces, red cards (red was my partner and I's color) and the bright neon yellow sign they made for me.

I had a lot of fun with the student ballroom dance team members this last month. They have been extremely helpful, patient and kind. My partner was amazing. He was so patient with me as sometimes, I would totally mix the steps up. Haha!

Ballroom dancing is something that has been on my bucketlist for awhile and I am so happy to cross it off my list. I think I will continue taking lessons though. If you haven't tried it, you should. It's a blast AND a great workout! My legs, abs, back and rear definitely feel it.

Here are some pictures from yesterday.........

program

Haley cheering me on during the competition.

My niece, Ella, supporting me and showing her Valpo pride, in Michigan.

A little blurry, but great form. :)

 

Oh yeah.........I won!! :) A percentage of the funds will go to Hannah's Hope. I'm glad I did them proud.

Me, my dance partner, Hannah and the girls after the competition. 

My trophy. So cute.