Day 5: Something I hope to do in my life

I hope to some day be a mother. 

I watch friends and family starting families of their own every day.......

.....baby showers, baptisms, first steps, first words, first day of kindergarten, birthday parties.....

Sigh. 

I know it will happen.......eventually.

I think, like many women, I am just anxious. 

I see an adorable pair of tiny baby booties and my heart just melts. 

Ever since I was a little girl....playing dolls with friends.....I knew I wanted to be a mother. 

I pray it is in God's plans for me.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for

My ex, for his choices and actions when we were together.

While it hurt me terribly and still does occasionally, my life has to go on, and it has.

That time of my life was devastating.

I felt like my world was tumbling down around me.

I thought I'd never be the same again.

I was right.

I'm not.

I'm better because of it.

I have learned who I'm not, who I was pretending to be to please others, who I am and who I want to be.

It has been a long process of forgiveness for me.

I thank my Pastor and the support of my church for helping me through it.

I have forgiven him.

Day 3: Something I have to forgive myself for

Hmmmmm.....I need to forgive myself for....

......being a bratty older sister to my brothers growing up

...giving my mom an attitude as a pre-teen, teen and post-teen

......being awful to my mom during my engagement and planning for the wedding.

I think the last one is one of the biggest things. During the planning of my wedding, my mom and I fought almost every week about something. We lost touch and grew apart during that time. I regret it so much. I now know I will never let something like a wedding...one day of my life...come between me and my mom or anyone in my life. Weddings are important and very special, don't get me wrong, but sometimes people become so wrapped up in the planning and preparation for them, they lose all civility.

The lesson I can take away from that time of my life is to know how to handle the situation differently and better next time. People are more important than bridal showers, seating charts, and money.

Day 2: Something I love about myself

I love....

.....I like to challenge myself - I never settle for easy.

....I don't let people or things get me down (this is a work in progress - I am getting better)

....I am close with my siblings.

......my blue eyes. People always ask me if I wear color contacts. :)

....my hair. I always have.

........my small feet. I can almost always find a pair of shoes in my size.

...my height. Since I have tended to attract shorter men, it's good that I am only 5'2''.

.......my outgoing personality. I can be shy sometimes, but my job has really brought me out of my shell. I can talk to pretty much anyone.

....I have 3 published writings (in college magazines). I am really proud of those accomplishments.

....my ability to forgive quickly and love deeply.

......my passion for education and teaching our future leaders of tomorrow.

....I have never given up - no matter how bad things have been.

Day 1: Something I hate about myself

Ugh. I really don't like the word, hate. It's just such a strong word, but nonetheless, here goes nothing.

I hate:

....that I am so sensitive. I'm a baby sometimes, ok a lot. I blame it on my big heart. I care about others and what they think (even though I know I shouldn't). Criticism can be difficult for me sometimes.
.....I take things too personally. I wish I could let things roll off my back more often. I just become too invested in things and people to not care.
....I am terrified of heights. I despise driving over bridges, climbing trees (even though I did some rock climbing at Red Rock Canyon with my brothers in Vegas...CRAZY!).
...I am sometimes claustrophobic. Small elevators and crawl spaces are not for me.
...I didn't try harder in high school and college. Now, I never settle for average. I bust my rear for A's in grad school now.
...love too hard too quickly. This is good and bad, depending. I've been really hurt in the past with opening myself up and falling in love.
....my widow's peek....sometimes. I have grown to embrace it. I don't hide it under short bangs anymore.
.....my hair color. Naturally, it is a dishwater ash blonde with red undertones (thank you Dad). This is why I highlight/lowlight my hair.

Of course, I have learned to accept and embrace all of these qualities of myself. Some things I know I need to work on.

30 days of truth

The idea is simple: 30 days, a topic a day, to tell the absolute truth.

I thought this was a fun idea (from Katie at Love is everywhere). The truth can be challenging to say aloud,
even to yourself. I know some of the topics below are going to stump me - maybe take me some time to
really sit down and answer. I am hoping this will teach me some new things, and reaffirm the things I’ve
known all along.

Here are the topics for each day. Stop by my blog as I begin this journey of 30 days of truth.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

it's a quote kind of day. . .

‎"I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved." -Shana Abé


"We saw too much beauty to be cynical, felt too much joy to be dismissive, climbed too many mountains to be quitters, kissed too many to be deceivers, saw too many sunrises not to be believers, broke too many strings to be pro's and gave too much love to be concerned where it goes...." -Glen Hansard



‎"Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Lonliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best thing you can do is know yourself... know what you want."
-Janet Fitch

‎"The joy is that we can take back our bodies, reclaim our health, and restore ourselves to balance. We can take power over what and how we eat. We can rejuvenate and recharge ourselves, bringing healing to the wounds we carry inside us, and bringing to fuller life the wonderful person that each of us can be." -John Robbins

‎"I've always believed that you must be able to appreciate the things that people can give you, and forgive them for the things they can't." -Elizabeth Isaacs

One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own. -John O'Donohue