Friday, September 2, 2011

Day 14: A hero who has let me down (a letter)

Dear B,

I have always looked up to you and admired your marriage and your life. You are a Marine - courageous and strong. I wanted to be just like you. Whenever I hurt, I'd think of you and I'd find strength through your sacrifices and commitment to our country and your family.

Even though we are step-siblings, I have always thought of you as my older brother, regardless of details.

When you and your wife asked me to be your daughter's Godmother, I was honored and take that role in my niece's life seriously. I hope to help raise her with Jesus Christ in her life and be a good Christian role model for her.

When my marriage ended, I felt as if I let you and L down as E's Godmother. I felt as if I already failed as a Godly woman.

When I received the news of your actions and choices to stray from your marriage, my heart broke. I didn't want to believe it. My hero would never do that, I thought. To ease the pain and to escape the thought of this being true, I went for a long run. I woke up the next day, realizing the reality of my life.......your life.......L's life...........and most important, E's life.

I was, and still am, angry with you. How could you do this? Why would you cause everyone so much pain? You were my hero.

I will never understand your recent actions or your choices. My heart is broken. You let me down.

I pray that you seek God and let Him into your life again.

Your sister always,
Nikki

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