50 Shades of Grey

Okay....everyone is talking about this book, 50 Shades of Grey (series, actually). How can I not write a post about it? I haven't read the books yet, but after hearing about it on the radio and watching an interview with the author, I am intrigued.

I have had my nose buried in grad school textbooks for the last two years....I am ready for something fun and different to read.

May 14 (when I am officially done with grad school), I am going to go out and get the book. I don't want to buy it now, because I'll be too tempted to read it and it's crunch time with grad school right now.

I only have 1 presentation and 1 paper left. Ahhh! I bet y'all are ready for me to be done talking about grad school. Well, it'll be over after May 21 (after I've posted graduation pics).

Hang in there! My life is about to get more exciting.....promise. Big changes are coming. Stay tuned....

Not familiar with these books? Check out Christin's post (from Classy Southern Wife) about 50 Shades here: Shades Trilogy Review

Not just another wedding

Last weekend, we went to a wedding of two of our friends, Sarah & Eric. Both are teachers and very involved in their church. Eric's dad is actually the pastor at the church they attend, and he married them. I've been to a lot of weddings, but I had never seen some of the things Sarah and Eric chose to do at their wedding. Nothing outrageous or odd....just different.

For starters, Eric walked toward Sarah at the end of the aisle and they walked down together to the alter. I loved this. It was sweet.

Her dad couldn't be there, and because he wasn't there, Sarah danced with her grandfather. This brought me to tears to watch. Here I was trying my best to hold it together, yet it hadn't even been a week since I lost my grandfather. During those two minutes all I could think about was how much time I had wasted and how I wish I had done things differently growing up.

I have one grandpa left. It would mean the world to me to be able to share a dance with him at my wedding some day. This isn't something I did the first time around, so I want to make sure to do things right and take in all these special moments that I witnessed Sarah and Eric do at their wedding.

Sarah and Eric also wanted to be sure to praise God and make sure He was part of every detail of their wedding day. The tables at the reception were marked with different Bible passages they had picked out rather than numbers.

Eric's vows (I couldn't hear Sarah's - she's so soft spoken) were perfect. Again, I was fighting back the tears. I have never heard such beautiful, sincere and full of faith in my life. Those two are made for each other. It was an amazing wedding. I am honored to have shared their special day with them.

Something my Pastor said...

I love my church and my Pastor. I love everything about Gracepoint. It is my place of calm, to gather my thoughts, my life and connect with God. After grad school I plan to get more involved with my church again. I miss being part of a community group (Bible study group).

This last Sunday's sermon was about addictions (we are currently doing a series called Remedy). My Pastor listed several addictions people have....drugs, sleep, money, drama, sex, pornography, appearance, work, one being the person who isn't happy unless they are unhappy. This made me think about those around me. Most people try to surround themselves with positive people.

I am often brought down by people that it makes me a negative person. I don't like it. I allow people to get to me and I need to work on this. I know I am not always super peppy, positive Patty, but I am going to try to be more that person. Think about people who land their dream job or the girl who is recently engaged....they are on cloud 9. Why can't we all strive to be more like those people in those moments, but more regularly. It shouldn't take a major life event to make you happy, right? The little things in life should make you happy too.

For example....
I love reading the little love notes Matthew gave me our first year of dating. They make me smile every time.
I love making a big dinner.
I enjoy baking....even when it's 4 dozen cookies for a church event.
Walking my dog, Ellie Mae, makes me extremely happy.
Receiving a text from a friend or family member saying they love me or miss me out of the blue, just because.
I love waking up early and working out before work.

If we all focused on doing more of the little things that make us happy, we would be happier people (at least more often). My challenge to you is to do something every day this week, even if it's the littlest things that bring joy to your heart.

My one thing today is my meeting with my student leadership team and hearing all of their goals for next year. Those kids make me so happy.  It is awesome to watch them grow each day, every year.

Surprise Friendships

It's amazing the people you befriend over the years. People you were simply acquaintances with in high school or friends from past relationships sometimes become surprise friendships. You'd be amazed the kind messages you receive from people out of the blue when you need it most. 


A girl I used to ride the bus with in middle school, who nows lives in Kentucky, has become my sister of God. We connected on Facebook and she helped me get through my divorce and continues to inspire me in my faith. She remains one of my dearest friends to this day. 


This year, I bought a bridesmaid dress from a girl I went to high school with. She and I are Facebook friends (surprise), but never expected such a sweet thing to happen. She has written me words of encouragement throughout grad school this year. She is an intelligent woman...she finished law school, while planning her wedding (crazy!) and then got married (before graduation!) and is absolutely stunning.


My ex and I met this couple when he was in law school. She and I weren't super close. The four of us didn't double date or hang out on a regular basis. When my ex and I split up, she took me in as her friend and we continue to talk regularly on Facebook. I admire her so much. She finished law school with a baby, a husband and has now joined the Tone It Up Community to be even more of a super woman. 


My biggest surprise friendship blossomed from my brother's relationship. He started dating a new girl a few years ago and little did she and I know that we would be come best friends. She and I talk almost daily....text, G chat, Facebook, and phone dates. She has become like a sister to me. I tell her everything. She is the first person I want to call or text when I buy a cute new dress or I have big relationship stuff to share. 


The friendships you've had since you were ten years old sometimes fade away. Some of the best friendships I've established have been made over the last couple years. You have to love Facebook....it helps people reconnect with old friends, connect with new friends and stay connected with everyone. 

My "hotdog" grandpa

I have been MIA lately, because I have been going through a hard time with the passing of my grandfather.  I wrote a post about him in December (Stage Four) when he was diagnosed with cancer.

My grandma didn't host a traditional funeral or memorial service for my grandpa - he had told her he didn't want one. For my great grandma and great grandpa's funerals, I wrote something for them and read it at the service. Here is what I wrote for my grandpa and would have read at his funeral...

My grandpa, Cal Richards, was a simple man.

He was the kindest and most selfless person I've ever known. I've never met anyone who didn't like him. There's nothing he wouldn't do for someone.

He was a hard working family man who lived to take care of the love of his life, Linda. "I promised her dad I'd take care of her, so she'd never have to work."

He taught me kindness, work ethic and what a husband should be.

Many people say little girls grow up wanting to marry someone like their father, for me, it has always been my grandpa. I've told my grandpa and grandma for years how much I admire their love for each other. I'd watch my grandpa pinch my grandma on the rear and grab her for a smooch in the kitchen.

Grandpa always came to my rescue - whether it the time I skinned my knee on their front porch, or when a cinder block fell on my toe and he rushed me to the hospital or all the times I had darn car trouble in college. He taught me a lot about cars.

He'd always introduce me to people as his granddaughter, Nik. Every time someone calls me that, I'm reminded of him and I smile. Hotdog is another name he'd call me and it always made me giggle as a little girl.

I think my grandpa's favorite memory with me was when I only 6 or 7 years old and I visited him and grandma up north at the cabin in Lake George. I helped him rake the leaves. I think it was his favorite story, because he'd often tell it - it never got old. Seeing his smile and watching his eyes glisten as he told it, made me so proud to have him as my grandpa.

Not every man could pull off a navy baseball cap and brown cowboy boots, but Cal Richards' heart was what really showed on the outside - it didn't matter what he wore.


Every woman should be so lucky to hear her husband still call her his sexy wife after 45+ years of marriage. His legacy serves as a reminder to us all to be kind, selfless, work hard, love and enjoy the simple things in life.


Here are a few of my favorite pictures of my grandpa.....

They were just teenagers when they fell in love.

My absolute favorite picture. So young and in love.

Me, my brothers and grandparents.

Me, dancing with my grandma & grandpa at my mom's wedding.

Their cabin up north.

47 years of marriage. 

May we all be so lucky to share as many years with the one we love.

I am trying to stay strong for both my grandpa and grandma. My grandpa wouldn't want us all to be sitting around crying. My grandma, because, for the first time in 47 years, she is alone. I wish I lived closer to see her regularly. 

These two are my heroes when it comes to love and marriage. They were a prime example of a strong, dedicated and loving couple. 

Work to live, don't live to work...

You know the saying, "work to live, don't live to work?" Someone said that to me this weekend and it made me do a little self-reflecting. I work. A lot.

People ask me every week what my plans are after grad school. I've started thinking about my life and my job. My job has become my life. I love what I do, don't get me wrong. But I am realizing it's not healthy to be at the office every weekend or staying late four nights/week. I am okay with it doing that once in awhile when absolutely necessary.

 I have a different take on it than others I work with. To some people, they feel compelled to tell people how early they come into the office every day and how they're going to be in the office working all weekend. 

I get my work done in a timely manner that doesn't call for me to be in the office on the weekends or checking my work email every hour. That's NOT NORMAL! Too many people in my field get sucked into their jobs and don't have a life of their own. In my office alone, I know five people who have gotten divorced (and I've only been here for a little over 5 years!).

I'm telling you, it has a lot to do with our work ethic today. To a lot of people, "good" work ethic means we should work 60+ hours/week and spent little time with your spouse/family. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture???

People in Europe are a good example of what Americans should be more like. They take long lunches, leave work early, and take more holidays (vacations). They are LIVING their lives, while we are getting gray hair and wrinkles by the time we are 30! No wonder Europeans are so much better looking than us! Americans are so stressed, anxious and high maintenance when it comes to work stuff. Yuck!

Here are some pieces of advice for Americans who choose to move to Europe (source):

- Don't brag to other people about how hard you work.  If you go up to someone in Europe and say "I work 10 hours a day, six days a week, 51 weeks a year.  Look how much I achieve!" you'll get the same reaction you would in America if you said "I wash my hands exactly 169 times a day.  Look how clean they are!  Look!  Look!!!"

 - Learn your environment.  Take into account how much work you can really expect from Europeans.  Don't expect anything to get done in August, don't expect a response to your email the same day.  If you really need to get in touch with someone while they are on vacation, or on the weekend, you won't be able to.  Which means not that they are being irresponsible.  It means you don't really need to get in touch with them.

So....after grad school, my plan is to go back to the old me....when I was 24 and would get drinks with friends after work (on a WORK NIGHT, OMW!) and have regular girls nights every month. My goal: leave work at work and have more fun in my personal life. Heck! HAVE a personal life again. This summer, I will be spending more time outside, at the beach and having BBQs than wasting away inside worrying about reports and schedules. More time for vacations - even little day trips. Life is about living, not working.

Before I Die...

This is an amazing community project.

 Transform your community into a place to share dreams with your neighbors.

Check it out!
http://civiccenter.cc/before-i-die/

http://civiccenter.cc/the-before-i-die-toolkit/