Advice from mothers about mothering

I don't know why I have babies on the brain lately, but I do. Matt and I aren't even married yet (10 months to go!). I am not in any hurry (not like I used to be...ya know...like when I was "younger"). I think because more of my friends are getting preggers and having playdates that no longer include me, I am beginning to have "baby fever" as they call it.

I have heard all kinds of advice from a variety of mothers I know. Different ages, different religions, different upbringing, different cultures, etc. They rarely ever say the same thing. This is very confusing for someone who wants to become a mother. Because of this very fact, I have a lot of anxiety about having children and doing things "right." I know, I know.....I am going to make mistakes and nothing is ever exactly "right."

Advice I have been given:

- don't spank your kids
- spank your kids...they need discipline (not gonna happen in my house, peeps!)
- breast feed
- don't breast feed
- don't name your kids all with the same first initial (unless you're nuts like the Duggars...love them!)
- don't feed them peanut butter until a certain age
- don't give them milk
- give them lots of milk, but only vitamin D
- enroll them in daycare
- in-home daycares are better
- don't trust anyone at a daycare center chain
- only allow your family to babysit
- hire a nanny
- don't hire a nanny
- read to your child when it's in the womb - it can hear you
- don't buy anything - you will get a lot of gifts
- circumcise...don't circumcise
- don't drink or smoke when you're pregnant
- a glass of wine or beer is okay when you're pregnant.....??!!
- half-day kindergarten.....full-day kindergarten

Ugh! The list goes on and on. What advice have you been given? What advice would you give? What works and hasn't worked for you, and why?

Emelia over at Trying To Be Good wrote the following blog post about the topic:

All the advice I have been given so far from mothers about mothering.

Continuous thanks

Day 10: Today I am thankful for Starbucks coffee, hot baths and wine.

Day 11: Happy Veterans Day to everyone who serves and has served our country. I am forever thankful and grateful for brave people like you.

[my brother, Bill]

 
 Day 12: I'm thankful for my job. Check out my soon-to-be-office....#May2013.

Day 13:  I am thankful for my close-knit friendships and good conversations with my girl friends. There's nothing like a long, random, out of the blue, conversation with a girl friend. It's comforting. Every girl needs 'em. I cherish the few quality friendships I have. My closest best friends reside outside of the state. I miss them dearly. Thank goodness for Facebook, texting, emails, and the phone. I do like to occasionally send them a little note in the mail just because.

My closest (Indiana) friends have become my two very good friends, Meg, and Stephanie. Meg and I hit off quickly over our hair. LOL. Stephanie is such a super cheerleader for mine and Matt's relationship. 

Day 14: I am thankful for Jared's Jewelers. They are the best. I swear by them and their customer service. I love their lifetime guarantee and their personal inscribed identification number in their diamonds.

Day 15: I am thankful for girl time with friends. I am looking forward to dinner & shopping tonight with a few of my favorite ladies.

Day 6, 7, 8, 9 of thanks

I was traveling for work this week, so my blog has been abandoned for a bit.

Day 6: I am thankful for the right to vote.

Day 7: I am thankful for the bus driver who held the bus for me while I ran across the parking lot this morning...the woman who helped me figure out the MARTA train system....my iPhone for keeping me company during my solo dinner and a warm place to rest my head after traveling all day.

Day 8: 2 airports, 2 planes, 2 trains, 2 car trips and 4 buses in 36 hours....I'm thankful to be home safely.

Day 9:  I am thankful for my sorority, my lifetime of sisterhood....I ♥ Phi Sigma Sigma.

Faith & Politics

My thoughts on politics.....

While everyone is riled up about the election, I am just thankful to have someone brave enough to step into the shoes of presidency. It takes a strong person to take on that role. Think about it. Would YOU want to make all of the decisions for a country with differing opinions about gay marriage, of different faiths, of difference cultures? Not me. 

I think about my job.....trying to please 800+ people for a big event. It's impossible. Just like it's always going to be impossible for everyone in the United States to ever agree on one person to lead our country. How could we expect that one person as president to make the decisions WE all want? 

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. It's so true if you think about it. While, yes, it's funny, it's true. It takes time to make change. Something so big and so important as this cannot happen over night.

You might say, "Well, I know who you voted for." 

Truth is, I would say the same thing if a Republican or a Libertarian had been president these last four years. I am not Democrat or Republican. I vote for the person I believe the most in. I am not one to shove my political views in your face. I never have and never will. Nor will I ever share who I vote for, because I don't feel like being criticized or judged or lectured. I read enough of everyone's political rant on Facebook.  

I am trusting Obama to lead our country and I trust God will help him.

Are you "in love" with God?

This seemed like a strange question to me when asked in our community group book Crazy Love. My response - I had never really thought about it that way. 

While people went around the room sharing their thoughts, I continued to to think about it more deeply. 

What does it really mean to be "in love"? 

Is it different than when you are "in love" with your spouse and with God?

A younger girl, in her early twenties, said it was difficult for her to define the meaning of being "in love," because people her age are often facing that question in their relationships. Do you like like him or do you LOVE him?

I concluded that my definition of being "in love" with someone is commitment. 

While some describe being in love to be what they see in the movies.....the googly-eyed, people who are happy 24-7, no cares in the world, and say I love you every half hour. Yes, I believe this exists, but we all know that we are not like that 24-7. We have our bad days, our days of exhaustion, our days of forgetfulness, our rushed days, our routine days, and our great days.

One wife commented that she wouldn't say she is "in love" all the time. There are moments of spiritual numbness. I don't agree. 

I would hate for Matt to say he is feeling numb in our relationship.....numb to our love or our marriage. Or worse, that he's not in love with me, even if it was just that day. I don't believe that in relationships you are granted days in which you are not in love with that person. You might be arguing that day, but that doesn't mean you aren't in love with them anymore.

I have heard those words before from someone I was in love with and it hurts and it's real. It is not something to be said lightly. 

I think people are in love with someone and then think they love someone else is really just infatuated with someone else or it could be that they simply care about someone else. Love can be taken different ways. But in that situation, an "in love" relationship does not one day wake up and say "I think I love someone else." That is not being "in love" with someone. That my friend, is infatuation in my eyes.  Temptation like that is a sin and not to be confused with being "in love."

Being in love is more than just three words: I love you.

For me, yes, I am in love with God. I am committed. I will not stray from Him.

I view this as the same way I view my relationship with Matt. I am committed through the good days and the bad days and I will not stray.

Have you asked yourself lately, Am I in love with God? Something to think on.

Gone Girl

So, our book club selected our next book to read....Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. It's a new one out on the shelves. I couldn't wait to buy it. We chose the book Friday night and I bought the book Saturday. I started reading it Saturday night. 

Ahh!

I have a trip coming up to Georgia, so I needed some reading material for my flights. Also, our plan is to have it read by our next gathering which is Nov 30. I only have a few weeks to read this. 

I am looking forward to our next meeting, because we are mixing it up and going to a restaurant for drinks and appetizers. This will be our last get together before the holidays. 

If you're looking for a mystery book, check out Gone Girl.

Many more thanks

I missed a couple days over the weekend to write about what I am thankful for, so here they are.....

Day 3: I'm thankful for girl time with one of my favorite friends and for my amazing fiancé for babysitting so we could have a girls day together. 

Day 4:  I am thankful for a roof over my head - a place I can clean, decorate and call home.

Day 5:  I am thankful for the opportunity to teach and help students prepare for their future. It's a gift I am honored to have been given.