Those are the exact words my mother asked me while we were discussing Ed.D. program possibilities. Okay, mom. I can take a hint. You want a grandchild.
My family doesn't quite understand why I am almost 30 and I don't have any children yet. They have also never really understood my love for education and wanting to put myself through hours and hours of homework, writing research papers and sitting through class after class over the years. They have always supported me, but never really "got" why I would rather go to school than start a family.
For me, I needed to find the right man. I see having a child as a HUGE step in someone's life and relationship. This is not something I take lightly.
To be frank, I am scared OUT OF MIND to have a child!
I can teach students. I can give presentations to 500+ people. I can counsel families through the college process.
BUT, having a child....that's a major responsibility. That's someone's life I could potentially screw up. I worry about a lot of things......
1. What if my kid hates me?
2. What if I cannot successfully potty-train my kid until the age of 8?
3. What if I fail to use the "right" products, so my kid doesn't stop breathing or have a major allergy attack?
4. What if I am one of those parents who cannot control their rambunctious kids in the store?
5. What if I don't know what to do in the middle of the night when the baby won't stop crying? How will know what to do?
6. How will I know which daycare is the best one?
7. What if my spouse and I cannot agree on spanking vs. no spanking? I say NO spanking.
8. What if my kids are complete terrors and I am left hiding and crying the bathroom every day?
9. What if I don't know what foods you can and cannot feed kids? At what age can they eat _____?
10. What if I fail to explain the birds and the bees at the right age? WHEN is the "right" age?
Oh my word! The questions go on and on!
I watch the TV show, Pregnant in Heels, and some of the questions she asks parents-to-be are tough. I panic when she asks questions and I don't know the answers to them.
How are people ever ready to become parents? It will be a couple years until I add the "Mom" after my name, so I have enough time to study up, right?
2 comments:
You learn as you go! We certainly didn't start off as an organic and chemical-free family, but we're working towards becoming one as we learn more about it. As a mom, you will probably always face judgment from others, regardless of whether your kid is a perfect angel or a giant brat--women, especially other moms, can be catty like that sometimes! Almost two and a half years later, I still feel like I don't have all the answers, but ultimately you just do the best you can and things will work out on their own. Finding a mom's group is a huge help because it gives you a built-in network of (mostly) like-minded people who have been there, done that or are doing it along with you! And there's always your friends who have kids already...(ahem).
You take things one day at a time, situation by situation. Each precious baby is so different. As you are faced with things you will learn you might want or need other people's advice, and sometimes you want people to mind their own business because what you are doing is what works for you and your child. All you can do is the best you can. Raising children will always be a trial and error experience.
You will be a wonderful mommy. No concerns or doubts about it.
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