Once upon a time....

Once upon a time a girl got married......again.

Okay, not everyone dreams of planning their second wedding.

I have been kind of been poking around with the wedding plans. I mean, we have all of the big stuff booked, planned and deposits paid. I am just not feeling the way many other brides do....normally.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to have found such an amazing man who loves me for me. I guess, I feel.....like people aren't as excited for me, because it is my second time. Does that sound selfish? I feel like it does. Gosh.

Maybe it's simply because I have experienced a wedding before that I have a better idea of what to stress over and what not to stress over, etc.

I have learned over the last 3 years that life is no fairytale. It might start off with a "Once upon a time," but there are certainly bumps along the way. I still firmly believe everyone can still get their happily ever after though. Look at Cinderella....it was no piece of cake for her to find her Prince.

I think it really comes down to.....I am more excited and looking forward to my marriage than the wedding day. Is that weird? It sounds weird, but I know and believe that it's the marriage that is the most important, not the surface stuff of a wedding day.

Ladies, if you aren't married yet or if you're planning your wedding, let me tell you a few important things I learned.....

1. no one will remember what your wedding favors were.
2. no one will care if there are chair covers on every chair at the reception hall.
3. there is no need to spend TONS of money on flowers (they die....like the next day).
4. let your bridesmaids pick out their dresses and/or shoes......they will love you for it later.
5. not everything has to be matchy-matchy.
6. there is no sensible reason for buying high priced, name brand, high heel shoes.....your feet will be so swollen the next day....NOT sexy!
7. have fun, enjoy your day and remember the soul reason why you are getting married....that person you are exchanging "I do forever" with.

I am so much more laid back this time and you know what? I am enjoying and appreciating every moment along the way so much more.

Why don't you add "Mom" after your last name next?

Those are the exact words my mother asked me while we were discussing Ed.D. program possibilities. Okay, mom. I can take a hint. You want a grandchild.

My family doesn't quite understand why I am almost 30 and I don't have any children yet. They have also never really understood my love for education and wanting to put myself through hours and hours of homework, writing research papers and sitting through class after class over the years. They have always supported me, but never really "got" why I would rather go to school than start a family.

For me, I needed to find the right man. I see having a child as a HUGE step in someone's life and relationship. This is not something I take lightly.

To be frank, I am scared OUT OF MIND to have a child!

I can teach students. I can give presentations to 500+ people. I can counsel families through the college process.

BUT, having a child....that's a major responsibility. That's someone's life I could potentially screw up. I worry about a lot of things......

1. What if my kid hates me?
2. What if I cannot successfully potty-train my kid until the age of 8?
3. What if I fail to use the "right" products, so my kid doesn't stop breathing or have a major allergy attack?
4. What if I am one of those parents who cannot control their rambunctious kids in the store?
5. What if I don't know what to do in the middle of the night when the baby won't stop crying? How will know what to do?
6. How will I know which daycare is the best one?
7. What if my spouse and I cannot agree on spanking vs. no spanking? I say NO spanking.
8. What if my kids are complete terrors and I am left hiding and crying the bathroom every day?
9. What if I don't know what foods you can and cannot feed kids? At what age can they eat _____?
10. What if I fail to explain the birds and the bees at the right age? WHEN is the "right" age?

Oh my word! The questions go on and on!

I watch the TV show, Pregnant in Heels, and some of the questions she asks parents-to-be are tough. I panic when she asks questions and I don't know the answers to them.

How are people ever ready to become parents? It will be a couple years until I add the "Mom" after my name, so I have enough time to study up, right?

Book Club's first pick: Good in Bed

We had our first book club meeting the end of September. There was 6 of us there. More than I thought would even be in the book club! AND we have a total number of 8 confirmed to participate in the group. YAY!

We selected our first book together from the book list I came up with with the help of those who submitted ideas of books they are interested in reading. 22 books.

We decided to keep our first book light and fun. No super serious book the first go around for us. I want these girls to get to know each other before we dig into deep issues. Ya know? We selected Jennifer Weiner's Good In Bed 2002 book. I started reading it.....AMAZING!

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts about it?

So excited for our next meeting (November 2) at my house. We are having a potluck. Any fun recipe suggestions?

Denver!!!

Last week I was in Denver, CO for a national work conference. It was a lot of fun. I had never been to Colorado before. Because of the weather, it was kind of difficult to see the mountains (people have been asking me about this). I was in downtown Denver.....LOTS of cement and tall buildings around. Kind of hard to see the mountains around those ginormous buildings.

The coolest thing to me, as a small-town girl.....the free busses you could just hop on and off to get throughout the city. AWESOME!

While it would have nice to experience another side of Denver, it was still great to experience a different state. I was able to visit Coors Field, run a 5k and experience a Coyote Ugly.

The run was by far my favorite part of the trip. I didn't think registration would still be open, but when I found it was, I jumped at the opportunity to run a race in Colorado. It was through a park....near the river, over and under bridges. Very pretty. It was also my first evening race. All of the runs I have done have been in the morning. I dressed in layers and even wore gloves. Half-way through the race, I had to take them off - it was too warm.


Here's a few pics to recap the trip.....

Run10Feed10 in Chicago

The 10k in Chicago last weekend was a blast. I was nervous right before, but then I reminded myself....it's just like any other run. Here are a few pics from our 10k......

 Before the race

 right after crossing the finish line....57 minutes!

Addiction and a forgotten person...

This subject is very close to my heart. I have known friends and family to suffer with addictions. Alcohol, prescription pills, drugs, sex...

It breaks my heart. My aunt (my mom's baby sister) is still struggling with addiction. She will deny it. We can still tell. She has been in and out of jail for different things. Each time she is sent there, I think and I pray to God she will change. I love her so much and I want to help her so bad. It comes down to the person suffering to admit they need help and to truly want help.

My aunt is only 7 years older than me. Growing up, she picked on me as if I were a younger sister. I looked up to her though. I thought she was so cool until I knew the truth. I was in 6th grade when she first went to jail. She was only 18. She was forging checks (so I've been told). This was eye-opening to me. I didn't really know or understand the extent of her troubles. Yes, she had tattoos...she smoked and drank, but so do a lot of teenagers.

Rewind a couple years. My aunt was a teen mom. She gave birth to her only son, Damien. He was the light of her world. He changed her. A few short months later, he passed away of a crib death. She was devastated. Her world came crashing down around her. The love of her life was gone.

Her world spiraled out of control again. I don't know all the details, because my family is pretty tight-lipped about it, which could be the problem of why she is still suffering. "We need to help her and love her no matter what," I always tell them. A lot of people have given up on her.

She is the primary caregiver of her good friend who is wheelchair bound. She hasn't had any responsibility for someone else since Damien. This has given her a new purpose in life - to care for someone else's well-being.

She's still suffering with her own well-being though. I can tell by her shaky hands, her frail figure, the dark circles under her eyes and her continued little appetite.

I have always wondered....how do addictions start? Why can't people stop? Don't they see it's hurting themselves - they are killing themselves?

I still pray for you, Aunt Janae. I wish I could magically make your life better and make you happy again. I know you often feel forgotten, but I haven't forgotten about you and I will never give up on you. I love you.

my grandpa, my aunt and my grandma

I also wanted to share my blog friend's post about her cousin's addiction. You can read Camilla's story here: The Shine Project.

What?! It's the middle of September already?!

Yeah, that's what I thought this morning when I realized, wow, I really haven't written anything on my blog since AUGUST. I am disappointed in myself. I will try to keep up with it better, my blogger friends.

Here's a a little re-cap of what I have been up to these days......

- I fell in love with Arbonne. Haven't heard of it? I recommend checking it out. www.arbonne.com. The products are all natural, botanical and safe....gluten free and AMAZing for you. I have even thought about becoming a consultant (I love it that much), but after much time and careful consideration, I have decided my life is super busy and I cannot possibly add one more thing to my plate. 

- Matt and I recently watched our two nieces, Haley and Hadynn, overnight, so their mommy and daddy could take a mini vaca for their anniversary. We had so much fun taking care of girls and they were really good for us.

- I have been a running maniac, training for this 10k. It's THIS Sunday! Crazy! I can't believe it's here already. I am pumped! Matt and I are an awesome team. We have been running together and we really push and challenge each other. It's one of my favorite hobbies (and really, a regular routine for us) we do together.  Last week, I logged 20 miles! I don't think I've ever run that much in a month. LOL.

 

- We are slowly checking things off our wedding list. We got most of our flowers for our wedding. We just need to get some ribbon and more flowers for parents and grandparents. Our friend, Stephanie, is making all the bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres. Here's a sneak peek at our flowers....

- I went to the Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw concert with my best friend/sis-in-law, Amanda. OMW! It was AMAZing! We had floor seats. Best concert ever!

- I visited my family last weekend in Michigan. My brother, Bill, is home on leave for 1 week from the Navy before he is deployed until March. It was a nice little homecoming for me. My mom and I went to the town market......I ran both Saturday and Sunday in town and on my alma mater's campus (I LOVE Alma College).....we went to the town high school's football game like old times....my brother, Bill, and I played a few games of HORSE in the driveway (WOW! It has been years since we did that).....and I visited my old boss' at A.C. Alma surely is the happiest place for me. My heart smiles every time I am there. It's home. I didn't realize how much I missed it.